Toothpaste Roulette

I’m in the middle of a game with my wife. She doesn’t know she’s playing it though – and that’s by design.

It has been five days since the toothpaste in the tube went down to the ‘done’ level. This is the stage I usually throw the tube away. Discard it like a banana peel or chicken innards or the notion of voting in 2022. Also, I’m a bourgeois person so this ‘done’ stage could be stretched a little for some people. For now, on this fifth day of suffering, I am some people.

I’ve been eking out little pea-sized bits of toothpaste each day, waiting for Eve to finally replace the tube since we have 2 full, healthy, vibrant tubes of toothpaste somewhere in this house. Lakini wapi? Eve has been going strong. She goes on like Celine Dion’s heart. Today is surely the day – to my knowledge the tube is empty empty. Like there is nothing left inside it. I made sure of that this morning. Surely by the time I return, I shall see a replacement, right?

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Anyway, as I hope for the miraculous, I’m currently in Nakuru town. It’s hot today and I am half regretting the fashionable choice of putting on a jacket but also half appreciating it. I’m sweaty and hot and the shirt I chose today is all but soaked through with perspiration. If I had visible abs, I would probably take the jacket off and bare them to the unassuming public. But I don’t have visible abs [yet]. Sigh. C’est la vie!

I’m on my way to KRA (hey, that rhymes!) to clear up an error on my PIN. It’s something that has been bugging me for the last six years and I thank Jesus that it’s finally being resolved. Why do government things take so long?

Now, if only Eve will resolve the toothpaste debacle. Yes, I know I can replace it myself but that’s not the point. The point is that I always replace it and this time it’s her turn. This house is an equal opportunity habitat.

I should probably be a mature adult and maybe just tell her to replace it.

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Nah!

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