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The In Between

Ladies and non-ladies, how are you?

I’m typing this just an hour before it is posted. This is my version of extreme sports, so buckle up dudes and dudettes coz in the words of the great Mohombi, “I wanna boom bang bang with your body, oh.”

 Hahaha (laughs in Italics)I'm cry

No, not those words. These, “It’s gonna be a bumpy ride.”

Sigh. Mondays…

Anyway, I have been thinking about the in-between.

in-between

/ɪnbɪˈtwiːn/

INFORMAL
adjective
1. situated somewhere between two extremes or categories; intermediate.

 

I have had many in-betweens. I’ve been in between houses, in between jobs, in between salaries and so on. But these are the in-betweens most people acknowledge.

I’m here to tell you about the in-betweens you have every day and perhaps you can help me with one of them in particular. (Hint, it’s the last one)

 

1. In between motivation.

Each day I leave the house bright and early to go to work. When I leave the house I have all this psyche to work. I’ll be telling myself that this is the day that I’ll update that Excel file. Today I’ll work till lunch then after lunch till 5 pm, non-stop being all productive and shit. (Fun fact, if you add “and shit” to the end of a sentence it makes you sound cooler and shit. Not wise or well-read, but cool.) So there I am all gassed up for work but then I get to the office and as soon as I walk through that door, all the psyche disappears. Poof! Like Thanos shows up every day with the Infinity Gauntlet, snaps his purple sausage fingers and suddenly I don’t feel so good.

Oh, the trauma. Infinity War was harsh. But, Spiderman does accurately describe my current state. (3 hours in the office and all I’ve done is read the paper. I don’t even like reading the paper!)

 

2. In between meals

Oh, Jesus, be my strength. I’m sitting here waiting for lunch like you wouldn’t believe. I’m hungrier at the office and I find myself just waiting for office tea. ‘Tis the highlight of my workday. Tea that I don’t have to make and I don’t have to clean up after. The life and times of a British person trapped in a Kenyan body. But not those Kenyans from Western. Those ones just run on tea. Unlike Omarion, who has an icebox where his heart used to be, those ones have a thermos. I should probably stop right here before someone hurts me. Have you seen those muscles? Does tea have steroids? Does chicken? Gasp! Does ugali? Bitmoji Image

Is it lunchtime yet?

 

3. In between sleep

And now for the biggie.

The one that started all this.

Sleep.

I enjoy sleep. I thank God for sleep. In fact, the Bible does say that God gives his beloved sleep (Ps. 127:2). And as God’s favourite child, I have an abundance of sleep. However, what happens between that knockout punch-like sleep that hits me when I’m on the couch watching The Grand Tour and when I actually go to bed? Where does that sleep go?

Yesterday, I was watching The Grand Tour. Season 3, first episode. Cool. Exciting. There’s a new McLaren, not that you care, but I was tired. Sleep hit me like an enraged rhino. Like someone smacking a mosquito. Like a diva in a soap opera. Like that one time in high school when the deputy smacked me. If you’re reading this, Mr Maina* (not his real name but I forgot his real name so it just might be his real name), “Vengeance is mine” saith the Lord of Hosts.

So I passed out on the couch for the entire McLaren segment.Bitmoji Image

The quality of sleep right then, I knew Psalm 127 was legit. However, because God’s favourite child cannot just sleep on the couch I went to bed and surprise, surprise, there I lay with eyes wide open for like an hour. I should have just finished the episode.

So people, pray tell, what happens between the couch and the bed? What sorcery is this? Who do I talk to about this?

Also, what was the best thing before sliced bread?

 

 

Comments: 2
  • Ian January 22, 2019 1:00 pm

    My biggest one right now is ‘in-between decisions’. Currently at a situation where I grow hugely in risk-aversion and the overthinking doesn’t stop. Somebody lied that adults have it easier man. But I can relate with you on all 3 too, although how my no.3 is set up is that I can’t seem to get enough sleep. I can sleep for 12 hrs and wake up hella tired, I can do 4hrs when I’m up rewatching GoT, and there’s no difference. Always tired. Which is worse?

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