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Eve and I watch a lot of home-improvement shows. We like to see houses in various states of disrepair get torn down and rebuilt into enviable abodes. We know terms like popcorn ceilings, awnings, pivot doors, shiplap, feature walls. Demo day is our favorite day.

Google knows about our home-improvement ways and, as Google tends to do, it floods our timelines with the stuff. We’ve rebuilt, redesigned and house hunted on YouTube for a while now. Granted, the shows are not not entertaining but we could be watching something else. Like the news.



The news… Ha!

A key feature in most of the fixer-upper type of videos and the house hunting ones is the sellers’ and the buyers’ propensity to idolize views. Views of hilltops. Vies of oceans/lakes. Views of cityscapes. I get it, the views are nice. But, I also understand that we are only human and the views we idolize now, we will get bored with eventually. It’s just the order of things. So, what I’m saying is views aren’t that important when searching for a place to live.

But I’m not a real estate agent or a property developer so don’t listen to me.

don't look at me

Speaking of views though, I’m currently on the eighth floor of a building in Nairobi – Nakuru doesn’t have tall buildings (fault line manenos). I’m waiting for a guy who has some stuff I need to do that which brought me to this city. As I wait, I cast my gaze onto the horribly disfigured Uhuru Highway and further at a new building in Upper Hill that I still don’t know the name of but it has spaces to let if you’re interested. Plenty of other skyscrapers dot the scene before me. They’re all uninteresting. They’re just buildings. They don’t move, they won’t change. Static. Others might crop up around them but they’ll only add to the tedium of metal and concrete.

Views are overrated.

Interesting things are dynamic. They occur sporadically like the growth of a mushroom. Hey, where did that mushroom come from? I don’t know! Or like the appearance of fruit flies in your kitchen. Hey, where did these fruit flies come from? This one I actually do know. See, when you get your fruit from the soko or the supermarket, other adult fruit flies have already been by. Usually, these adults don’t live very long so they have a lot of propagating to do so once they reach sexual maturity, they bang and lay eggs. All over the rinds of the fruits you buy. Now, I bet you have powerful eyes but you can’t see these fruit fly eggs. Don’t assume you’re fruit is clean, boo. Wash it. Wash them. Because if you don’t, the eggs hatch and you get the fruit fly infestation you’ve been dreading.

Also, you probably have eaten a few fruit fly eggs.

Bitmoji Image

Anyway, dynamic things are interesting. Like right now, the building I’m in has a parking bay on what seems like the fourth floor. I can see a section of it from my eighth-floor perch. A man has been struggling to parallel park for twelve minutes. I wanted to take a video of the scene but it was wonderful just to see it live and be in the moment. A morning performance just for me.

I don’t know why the scene was amusing – I don’t even know if I myself can parallel park seeing that I have never done it before. All I know is that I was amused. The dude came out of the car three times to check his progress and one of those times he checked one of his side mirrors that was dangerously close to the wall. Each time he stepped out of the car he scratched his scalp in the same spot – and I imagine he sighed in exasperation but only twice. In my mind he didn’t sigh the first time.

When he finally got it, I wanted to clap. To applaud his effort. To appreciate the show. I did not but I wanted to. He walked off and went to his office where I envision him berating his juniors to let out his frustrations. A few moments later, a lady pulled into the next spot and tried to park but this time, a guard materialized out of nowhere to help.

The sexism!

Comments: 2
  • lae September 1, 2021 4:32 pm

    This is the second time I’m reading a post on here exactly 5 seconds after it being posted. With the way this guy posts randomly i must be psychic haha. And no, i don have post notifications on.

  • Mark September 1, 2021 9:02 pm

    I used to have a schedule. Every Monday at 10:01 am. It worked for a long time (I even thought about renaming the blog to “Mondayat 10”) but eventually I got anxious because some Mondays came and I didn’t have anything new to add. Then eventually the anxiety made me not post anything for a long time.
    Recently I started putting my thoughts down in a notebook I carry everywhere. The last 6 or 7 posts have been from that book. I never know even the urge will strike so now posts come like Shakira.

    Whenever Wherever.

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