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Discipline or the Lack Thereof

I’m easily distracted.

At least that’s what my wife says. Although, she does say a lot of things that I don’t understand. For example, sometimes she’ll say something like, “Will you wash the dishes for me?” Or “I want to go out on Saturday.” Or “Did you really just fart?”

Makes no sense.

But my response to all those and more (much, much more) is “Of course, dear.”

So perhaps I am easily distracted.

saying "oh no" but you're eating a sandwich and looking like you don't care

I have been trying to get on a writing schedule to sync with my workout schedule and my illustrating schedule and of course, my gaming schedule which interferes greatly with my work schedule and also, you know, marriage is… a thing.

I have too many things to do.

Do you guys know that I’ve only read two books this year?

TWO!

And the sad thing is I haven’t finished either of them. I feel… I feel…

spider1

One time when I was eleven, I tried rollerblading. I couldn’t align my feet correctly so I promptly gave it up and tried roller skates instead. My friends told me I was a natural. They obviously didn’t see the struggle I had had with them in the house. My sister saw and she laughed and laughed and laughed, but eventually, I got it and one day I emerged from the house in my skate shoes and dazzled the neighbourhood. (I had on an impossibly white shirt that day – the kind that JIK would be proud to use in a commercial).

There I was, skating in the parking lot, putting to shame the rollerbladers because they could not keep up. That is until I tried to transition from the road to the pavement, which in my defence I had done correctly multiple times. This time, however, I fell.

I literally flipped like the cartoon characters who step on banana peels do. I landed on my back and all the air in my body escaped. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t cry, couldn’t laugh. I had tears in my eyes but I was smiling. My mouth also made these weird shapes every two seconds. My body was confused.

Body.exe had stopped working.

That feeling. That staring-into-the-sun-feeling-helpless feeling is what I have right now.

 

I am disappointed in myself.

Bitmoji Image

My wife is also disappointed in me.

She just gave me a kick in the balls not three hours ago. Not a literal kick in the balls though, more metaphorical. If it were literal then we’d be talking about divorce and not discipline. Someone who kicks you in the balls does not love you and wishes you and your descendants ill. Or wishes you to have no descendants.

Either or.

So I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to her (and to you but don’t let her know you’re listening. Let her feel special *wink*). I’m sorry for not writing. I will try to do better. I’ll carve out some time to write and most of it won’t be very good but I’ll write anyway. Also, I want to tell you that I’ll stop gaming but that would be a lie and I don’t want to lie to you. Also, you’re so pretty… (talking to my wife now. I don’t know what you look like).

Starting now, I expect to have something for you to read every Monday. At noon. That is my solemn vow.

Don’t take me too seriously though. Because as you now know, I’m easily distracted.

 

Pray for me.

 

Have a good week.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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