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Cooler than Me

A funny thought occurred to me last week. Not during the cake incident, there was nothing funny about that. But one day after my morning shower I looked into the mirror and thought, “Damn!”Bitmoji Image

A good damn, not a bad one.

Exercise works!

There is some definition kicking in and I love it. As I stared at myself like the narcissist that I am, I had another funny thought.

“What if I get a tattoo?”

Unbeknownst to me, I had said that out loud so Eve stirred in the bed and said, “What?”

Then I said, “What, what?”

And then she said, “What?”

This went on for a few more minutes till she got tired. I can play this game for hours. “What did you say about tattoos?”

I froze knowing her aversion to the idea of tattoos.

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“Mimi nimesema kitu juu ya tattoo? Mimi?”


“I’m thinking of getting a tattoo.” And I was. I am. A cool tattoo of a bird of prey, or a geometric shape, or one of those logos I made on Instagram. Nothing huge like a sleeve. Nothing Pastor Ng’ang’a would say is occultic and lead him to subsequently funga kitu yangu. Nothing that would make my mother gasp in horror.

Of course, my mother would never see it, but still.

“Why?” Eve asked. Or more accurately, yawned.

“Why not?” I shrugged.

“I don’t know… Leviticus?”

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Leviticus is a good argument. But I believe that Jesus has redeemed us from those laws. I mean, the same Leviticus tells men not to shape their beards.

Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.

Leviticus 19:27 NIV

Now how many of you have shaped your beards? Or how many of your boyfriends’ beards are shaped? Also, if you really study the Bible, God meant that you shouldn’t clip or style your beard in honor of some pagan deity like for example, how the Babylonians did.

You shall not make any cuts on your body [in mourning] for the dead, nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves; I am the Lord.

Leviticus 19:28 AMP

Again, if you read carefully, according to the context of this verse, the tattoos here are in mourning. Another translation says in honor of the dead. Scarification because of some traditional ceremony to appease the ancestors is not what God had in mind for His people.

Unrelated, mosquito za coast sio mchezo.

So, why do I want a tattoo? Because I think it would look cool. I would enjoy showing it off and let’s be real, where else would I get a tattoo? In heaven? I don’t think so.

In case you’re going to hell, hata huko hakuna tattoos. There are only scars and burn marks in hell.

Also, you’re not going to believe me but, God has tattoos too.

15 [And the Lord answered] Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yes, they may forget, yet I will not forget you.

16 Behold, I have indelibly imprinted (tattooed a picture of) you on the palm of each of My hands; [O Zion] your walls are continually before Me.

Isaiah 49:15-16 AMPC


And on His robe and on His thigh He has a name inscribed, “KING OF KINGS, AND Lord OF LORDS.”

Revelation 19:16 AMP


I just learned you something!

I seem to be preaching to you more and more with each blog post. It’s not my intention but the Truth is the Truth. Jesus came for me to have and enjoy my life (John 10:10), so I don’t think He’ll be mad if I get a tattoo of my wife’s name on my chest.

Or this picture that shows how we met. (Eve drew this btw)

The first time we met, we were in a band together till she left. She gets bored easily that one. The second time we met, she had a poultry thing going on and was selling chicken. [If you want to be vulgar though, it can symbolize a certain part of someone’s anatomy that can “sing” another someone to sleep.]


I can’t believe Eve let me leave that in.

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Anyway, I might get a tattoo. Mainly because my little brother has one and he cannot be cooler than me. His is a dragon because he is an animator and fancies himself a fan of anime. Bet you can’t guess what mum said.


Now a note from our sponsor (it’s still me, ssshh) 

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Comments: 13
  • theimaasai September 16, 2019 10:16 am

    lol i have learnt so much Bible stuff from here (this post…not this post but this post is about) than i have in church..weka till number apa
    And oh….
    sing another someone to sleep………*face-palm

  • merde chronicles September 16, 2019 11:00 am

    This blog made my day ❤️❤️

  • Random-City September 16, 2019 11:43 am

    Always a good time reading these posts. Too much bible stuff and since you want my feedback, I think it’s time you started a church.

  • Nancy September 16, 2019 4:02 pm

    nice post. I think Eve should do guest posts, maybe quaterly

  • Tushy September 17, 2019 11:18 am

    I like how you are able to put across important points and still maintain your funny and witty sense of writing. Biko’s influence maybe?The humour?

  • Nagudi Sandra December 5, 2019 8:18 pm

    Ahahaha… I found another captivating blog! I came here from Biko’s “the land yonder”. Thank you for leaving your link in the comments, 2019 keeps getting better I must say. Definately sharing with my friends, and it’s settled, I’m getting a tattoo because my doubts have been put to rest. We can’t get tattoos in hell after all.

  • Bey December 13, 2019 1:11 am

    Everything about this blog is beautiful! And to think I didn’t know about the existence of this blog until today? Tragic !

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