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Because of You

It’s been a long week for her. It started with Kenya Power.

See, she lives (or is it stays? My English Aid is failing me, Malkiat Singh) in one of those places that don’t have prepaid meters. She only just started living there. She’d never been in a place where power was postpaid so she had no idea that she had to go to her nearest Kenya Power office to register her meter. And it’s not free.

So she did what she had to. Forked over that 2500 bob she was saving for something else. Perhaps a trip to the salon. Perhaps a new handbag. Perhaps a big ass cake for her birthday. That’s right, she had a birthday coming up (mine was last week, thanks for the birthday wishes). She wanted a 2kg cake.

But wait!

She had to pay for water too. Water she hadn’t used but the landlord was all like, “Hio sio shida yangu.”

So she paid for that too. Another 600 bob gone. Like government project money. Meanwhile, her boyfriend hadn’t called her for three days. Three days! Of course, she could call him but what is pride? What is dignity? How could that puppy (aka son of a bitch) not call her for three freaking days?!


She works in town. In one of those little phone accessory stores that are painted green like Mpesa but they don’t have Mpesa services. She works with a lady called Nancy. Nancy is light skinned and has vision issues so she always has spectacles on. But not ordinary specs, cat’s eye specs. Despite her vision problems she wears her specs on the edge of her nose and literally looks down on people. She also has a permanent sneer on her face.

Nancy is a bitch. She makes work hell.


It’s been a long week for her.

Two days ago, she gave a customer a discount on the price of a phone. A fancy phone that was marked at 26 k but she sold it for 24. Of course, Nancy yapped to the boss. The extra two thousand had to be recovered from her salary. Two thousand that she needed since Kenya Power and the water company already took her money.

She called her boyfriend.

“Niaje babe,” he said.

Ati niaje babe. This one anamsalimia tu hivyo casually? “Poa. Aki Denno hata huwezi nipigia kuniwish happy birthday?” Her birthday was next week.

“Birthday yako imeshahappen?”

This idiot didn’t even remember her birthday. “Eeeh. Ebu nitumie 2k nisort kitu hapa. Aki it’s urgent.”

“Sawa babe,” he said.

He sent her 500 bob.

Yesterday, Denno called and promised to send her the rest. He also professed his love.


He hasn’t sent anything.

He’s been calling her since 6 am. She’s been ignoring his calls.

Her phone buzzes, Taki Taki is her ringtone. Taki taki rumba.

She sneers at the name on the screen and switches it off while emitting a disgusted sound.

Denno is screwed.


At least that’s what I think. I’m seated in a matatu next to this angry woman. She looks like she wants to throw her phone out the window. The windows are sealed though (that makes me angry too). Denno amemsumbua lol. This matatu can’t move fast enough.

Traffic on Waiyaki Way is just next level.

traffic jam










Comments: 2
  • Shad March 18, 2019 7:00 pm

    Lol denno looks like those guys with pineapples on their heads

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