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Afraid of the Dark

Back in the day, in 4th grade, I was introduced to compositions and inshas (Swahili compositions). I thought that was the worst thing that could have ever happened to me. Why would the teacher want us to write stories when there existed so many in the world?

It was torture.

I’m reminded of that as I write today’s post in a notebook. I thought I’d try something different today and not type this right away. So, eventually, I came to like compositions but till now I still hate inshas. Inshas have a special place in hell and if you love inshas, you too deserve… I don’t know what you deserve actually, I am not God.

Anyway, I haven’t used this book in a long time. I date everything I do so it was surprising to find out that the last time was the 12th of February 2021! Yikes! I am ashamed and I resolve to fill this thing this year. Hopefully…

The odd thing about this particular notebook is that the pages have this weird yellow tint and I feel like the ruling on it is too large. That’s what reminded me of compositions back in the day because in order to fill the four required pages of writing, I used to write really really big letters. Like huge letters. And that trick worked for a little bit until the teacher caught on (they always catch on, those bastards) and decided to give us word counts.

Oh, the pain!

Anyway (I really need to find a better word to start new paragraphs with), I’m taking a short break from today’s shenanigans to write something so that my conscience doesn’t start revolting. I feel like, by now, I should be writing longer pieces. It has been a week already and I should be better by now. Was I really that rusty? Guys, please practice that thing that you know you need to practice.

It seems that that rust has made me critically about myself and my work. At this point in time, I basically cannot think creatively anymore. I feel that perhaps I have been consuming a lot of other people’s content and because of that I cannot think of my own.

How do I fix this?

I mean, on one hand, I need to look at this stuff to be in the know (and for research) but on the other hand, if I am to create “content” (I hate that word btw), I should be full of substance to do so.

So the solution to this kerfuffle is, I need to be bored. Bored out of my mind and out of this dangerous comfort zone. I also need to finish writing this on this one page because if anything spills over to another page, I will kick myself if I don’t fill that one.

Anyway, I know what I’m doing tomorrow.

Absolutely nothing.

Thus, the experiment begins…

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